One of the most misunderstood ideas in leadership is culture. Most organisations talk about culture as if it’s something you declare: a vision and mission statement, a set of values on a slide in a presentation, a rallying cry at the staff team building, or a few carefully chosen words rolled out at client pitches. Culture doesn’t live in language – it lives in behaviour.

I’ve observed environments with beautifully articulated values and deeply dysfunctional behaviour. And I’ve seen places with no formal values at all, where people somehow knew exactly how to behave. The difference was never the intent.  It was always consistency – what gets rewarded, what gets tolerated and what gets ignored…again and again.

If a brilliant performer regularly crosses lines and nothing happens, that’s the culture. If people who speak up are quietly sidelined, that’s the culture. If speed is consistently valued over care, certainty over curiosity, loyalty over truth – that’s the culture. If the grapevine becomes the main means of communication, that’s the culture.

This isn’t because anyone spelled it out, but because it became imprinted into the system. This is where leaders often get confused. They believe culture is shaped by what they say. In reality, culture is shaped by what people experience, especially under pressure. When what leaders say and what they do doesn’t  match – that old “do as I say, not as I do” dynamic –  the system learns very quickly which one to believe.

How often have you  seen organisations proudly say they value collaboration, while often giving a free pass to the most combative individuals, and even promoting them? And companies who speak about psychological wellbeing while obviously showing favouritism, and quietly punishing others with the silent treatment? But on the contrary, there are teams that are chaotic, demanding and exhausting yet deeply bonded and productive. Why? Because people in those situations felt held, heard and respected when it mattered.

Culture forms fastest in moments of stress – not when things are going well, but when something goes wrong. Who gets protected? Who gets blamed? Who gets listened to? Who gets shut down? Those are the moments that teach people how things work around here. Culture isn’t a statement. It’s a living system.

I’ve always used the analogy of gardening to describe culture. What you plant, what you water, what you prune and what you ignore determines what grows. You can’t declare a garden healthy – you have to tend it. What seeds are being planted and how are they being nurtured? Who gets hired, who gets promoted, who gets protected, and who gets quietly shown the door. Weeds grow where behaviour goes unchecked. Neglect shows up long before collapse – usually as fatigue, cynicism, or people going quiet.

And like any ecosystem, culture doesn’t stay the same just because you stop paying attention. The organisations that thrive aren’t the ones with the most polished vision and mission statements. They’re the ones that notice what is or isn’t growing, and intervene early. They understand that culture isn’t something you roll out. It’s something you work at, season after season.

Because in the end, culture is simply this: If you don’t choose what you’re growing, the weeds will!